Growing up in the time and place I did, much ado was made of the idea that people (but especially children) were becoming "desensitized." This was a big word in my household. Desensitized to violence/sex/profanity/hate by video games/television/music/the internet. I think that as I grew up, I mentally tossed this idea of desensitization via hi-tech media into the same bin as the concept of anime and rock music being vectors for subliminal Satanic programming. A typically American, typically Christian overreaction to youth culture and a changing media landscape.

Lately, however, I've come around to the idea that I and others of my generation were too quick to dismiss the caution of our elders and too eager to embrace a world of ominpresent digital media. I think, in fact, that many people (myself included) have become desensitized.

What brought me to this (probably very obvious) conclusion was my initial experience coming back to social media after about a year away. Logging back in and scrolling elicited in me, across every social network, the same visceral unease and revulsion. And I know: EVERYONE feels that way about the internet now, at least on an intellectual level. But I'm really talking about my gut. I'm talking about feeling physically discomforted reading and viewing what other people are writing and uploading. And I think that's a good thing! Becuase it had been too long since I'd had any reaction other than resigned complacence to reading "Great Replacement" screeds, or rants about how gaming has "gone woke," or justifications for the "ethical" generation of AI child porn. All of these things should be shocking and none of them should be acceptable.

To that end I'm trying to 'get sensitized' again, whatever that means. I'm still figuring it out. I haven't had any social media applications on my phone for years, but I'm trying to get better about leaving the phone itself in places where it's physically out of my reach. I'm trying to cut out algorthimically curated feeds from my life. I'm trying to get back into reading physical books for longer than just a five minute span while eating. I tried writing my thoughts out here to give my brain an exercise. I'm trying to reorganize my interactions with technology so that my mind is not merely a receptacle for the information that the owners of the algorithms would have us all ingest.

I'm aware that this probably reads as strident and that my prose is unrefined. However, I'm writing this for my own benefit. I hope that stating my thoughts in this way will reinforce the changes I'm trying to make with how I interface with electronic media. If nothing else, it gives me an opportunity to sit down and practice writing.

Thanks for reading.